Who are we decorating for?

How we want our homes to be seen, how they are seen and the different reactions they get from people is a subject I find quite intriguing.

I sometimes notice it when someone apologises for their home before you’ve even stepped through the door.

“It’s a bit of a mess.”

“We haven’t really done anything with it yet.”

“Please ignore the sofa.”

And the idea that our homes have transcended beyond simple domestic spaces - where we eat, sleep and rest - is even more interesting. That’s not to say that they were never used to impress wealth or status upon those that weren’t lucky enough to live in more palatial offerings - of course they were. But for most of modern history, the homes of the masses were rarely seen by more than a handful of people outside of the family unit.

And yet today you could be a single person - with perhaps a small group of friends - and yet hundreds of thousands of people might know what your favourite corner at home looks like down to the most exacting of details.

And it’s because of that fishbowl lens, through which a lot of our homes are now seen thanks to social media, that a lot of us do actively seek external validation for our homes - whether we share images of them or not…because if we don’t personally share ours you can bet we’ve ogled over the homes of others - both occasionally critiquing them, and often envying them.

Of course inspiration from other homes isn’t the problem in itself. Seeing how other people live can spark ideas, open our eyes to colours or combinations we might never have considered, and remind us of the endless ways a home can be shaped. The trouble starts when inspiration quietly turns into comparison.

The very nature of which has led to a kind of natural assessing of our own homes as if through the eyes of others:

• what would they think?

• would they like my home?

• do they like my decor choices?

• or do they think my pad is XXX or XXX?
  
  And this is where colour in the home can fall flat at the first hurdle

And this is where colour in the home can fall flat at the first hurdle.

Because colour is so subjective, all of the previous ways of thinking have to be ignored when it comes to introducing colour into your home as it is one thing above everything else: personal. And if we only ever decorate our homes with an invisible panel in our minds marking our bedrooms out of ten - for style, originality and taste - how can we ever create a home from a more soulful place - one that feels completely and utterly us?

I’ve often wondered what it must feel like to live in a home that hundreds of thousands of people recognise. A kitchen corner that strangers could identify instantly. A sofa that appears in thousands of saved Instagram posts. Does it feel invasive, like your home is somehow less your own? That a part of it belongs to your forty five thousand followers?

Homes are supposed to be personal, intimate and reflective of the people who live there. But increasingly we design them for visibility, approval and driven by trends. So knowing that, it’s easy to see how most people would choose a grey sofa over a rich teal one - because the former invites no comment, whereas the latter most often will.

So to finally get over the beigefication of our homes, we have to do something super important: ignore what others might think. Which is easier said than done. But, and it’s a big one, if colour is to find its way back into our homes in a meaningful way, we need to stop imagining the audience quite so much.

Because there is no way everyone will like your colour choices. Absolutely not.

Colour is, and has never been, a one size fits all. It demands introspection. It asks us how it makes us feel, and it has to resonate with you on a deeper level than purely superficial. And that takes a bit of work - which is why it’s often easier to simply copy and paste a look from someone else’s home. Which is such a shame.

And coming back to the idea of viewing our homes through the eyes of others, it’s fascinating to acknowledge the shift that has happened. Once the most private of spaces, our homes are now quietly shaped by the opinions of people who may never actually step inside them. Which is quite ridiculous when you think about it.

Of course the irony here is that the most interesting homes are seldom the ones that follow a design formula. They are the ones that reveal something about the people who live there - their collections, their memories, the colours that make them feel something.

And those choices will never please everyone. But perhaps that’s the point. A home that feels deeply personal is unlikely to be universally approved.

So perhaps it’s time to step away from the popularity contest.

Because the most meaningful homes are never the ones that please everyone - they’re the ones that feel completely and unapologetically like the people who live there.